The Lived Experience of Racial Minorities

Specific behaviors displayed by dominant group members are so profound and familiar that just about every racial and ethnic minority is well-versed in them. These behaviors set the foundation for the experience of minorities in the U.S. These experiences shape the cultures of minority groups and even shape how individuals see themselves and the world and react to it all.

This post looks at some of the most common behaviors and cultural norms that impact the lives of racial and ethnic minorities, as well as their lived experiences. 

Some Backstory

The time I got through to a white colleague.

A colleague previously asked me what he could or should do to help improve race relations. He explained that no matter how hard white people try, it’s never enough.

I asked him, point blank, “Are you trying?”

He paused after giving me a confused expression. Tim then said he doesn’t think about or talk about race…ever.

“Are you sure about that?” I asked.

Tim has gotten to know me, so although he feels personally called out, he doesn’t yet feel personally attacked. I understand that I must keep my voice low and my demeanor friendly. He will register my actions as an attack if I get loud or display other emotions. 

“Pretty sure.” He says it almost like he’s being tested, and I would grade him for it.

“I want you to do something tonight.”

Tim stops typing and looks over to me, eyebrows raised.

Tim is a father of two. The kids are in elementary school, though I am unsure of their ages.

“Tonight, ask your kids if all people are equal.”

Tim’s face brightens. He knows, and I know what his kids will say. They will sweetly insist that all people are created equally.

“And after they answer yes, ask them what they think of Black people and Mexicans.” I use Mexican as a placeholder for Latines because I don’t expect children from different ethnic groups to know the difference.

Tim’s face drops. But something clicked. I can tell because he looks like he just had a realization.

I already know what Tim knows. His kids are going to say that Black people and Mexicans are bad. They might add more. They might say it in so many words. But that’s what they’re going to say.

While Tim worries about his kids, I think about the kids who’ve already heard racist ideas about their people.

The memories of my experiences with racism haunt me. They haunt us all.

I think about myself as a small child on the day of a field trip my class walked to.

“Wanna hear a joke?” my classmate, Amanda, asked me with a high-pitched voice.

“Ok!” I replied.

She pointed ahead to a pile of dog feces on the sidewalk. Our class was divided into two lines, and one of the parents ensured the kids avoided stepping on the feces. 

As I approached the dark brown pile of dog shit, she said, “Look! It’s a Mexican baby!”

I remember that Amanda insisted it was just a joke and that her father told her. And that was it. But it stayed with me.

It was not the first time I was made aware of how people felt about Latines, but it was one of the first few times. The racism I would get subjected to and witness would increase exponentially by middle school. And I lived in the San Francisco Bay Area.

When racial minorities share their experiences with racism, white people make themselves the judge and jury.

During the peak of Black Lives Matter, I posted on social media about an experience I had with racism. A stranger responded to me after viewing my profile. He accused me of lying about experiencing racism.

I needed clarification. The online stranger stated that I was clueless and grew up in a wealthy suburb. But that was all he offered.

I didn’t understand why someone would accuse me of lying, especially considering they didn’t know me personally. And it angered me that, as a POC, a white man was telling me I couldn’t have experienced racism after I said I had. 

For weeks, I thought that perhaps he was saying the experience I mentioned in the comments section did not count as racism. Maybe, from his perspective, racism only comes in the form of burning crosses and white sheets, which is a common perspective.

I finally asked my husband for his opinion. He is white, so he is an excellent source for tapping into the mind of white men.

“[The online stranger] thinks racists are only people who live in rural areas, wave confederate flags and drink Bud Lite.” He replied matter-of-factly.

It all made sense. And yet it makes no sense. Although I felt relief for finally understanding something that was bothering me, like a puzzle I couldn’t finish, I felt further away from being able to make a difference.

I then realized that the general white population had set ideas they formed from within their monocultural world.

It’s one where discrimination takes the form of not qualifying for a handful of positions throughout one’s life because the employer made room for individuals from pools that go untapped.

In this world, people who have been mistreated and then became unequal must be treated the same; otherwise, it’s a great injustice to whites. It’s one where you can’t possibly be racist if you believe you are colorblind. And being told you’re being racist is a worse offense than whatever you said or did to someone who feels hurt by you.

This overall obliviousness to one’s behaviors and their impact on minority groups of people make up the dysfunctional foundation we all stand on. The foundation is so weak that our political leaders are acting it out. 

Let’s examine the experience of individuals outside of the dominant culture from a birds-eye view.

Some Realities for People Outside the Dominant Group

Racial and ethnic minorities are considered less American than whites.

Racial and ethnic minorities learn to hyphenate their nationality with their racial or ethnic identity because the dominant culture dictates itself as truly American. Even those who are indigenous to the Americas are Native American. 

It is a cultural belief that whiteness is a component of the American identity; even if some individuals disagree with this sentiment,

Some insist POC choose to call themselves anything other than just American. But if we’re being honest, do POC have a choice in the matter?

In the United States, racial categories on official documents have evolved. In the early years of the United States, the government only categorized people by their free or enslaved status, not their race.

The first U.S. Census in 1790 categorized people by race for the first time, but only as “Free White Males,” “Free White Females,” “All Other Free Persons,” and “Slaves.” It was not until 1850 that specific racial categories began to appear on the census, and in 1890, the racial categories of “Black” and “White” were added.

However, even after including specific racial categories, white people were not always required to identify their race on official documents. The Civil Rights Act of 1964 made it mandatory for people to self-identify their race on certain federal forms.

In official documents such as census records and birth certificates, white people were not required to list their racial identities, and this space was added to count racial minorities. If you look at old census records and see that no race is listed for a person, it is likely an indication that they were white.

As you can see, racial minorities never had an actual say in how they identify.

White is what is normal.

Another challenge I present to white people is to refer to any white people by race for just one week. Theologian Thandeka came up with this challenge. Theologian Thandeka states that doing so violates a norm amongst non-supremacist white Americans, which is that they name others by race but not themselves. This then threatens to raise awareness of shaming by rejecting one’s connection to POC.

So, if you exchange tabloid gossip with a friend, you must refer to every white actor by their race. For example, if you mention Blake Lively, you would say, “The white American actor Blake Lively.” If you’re talking about your friend who happens to be white, you must refer to them as your white friend. You can use Caucasian, white American, European American, or white. It’s up to you. But you must do it for one week.

The point of this challenge is for members of the white culture to gain perspective on how they view themselves and treat people who aren’t white. They will find it’s a struggle not to name non-whites by race. And they may feel it’s too hard to name whites by race, amongst other hard truths.

Yes, racial minorities also name people by race, including white people. But white people are the only ones who do not identify themselves by race despite being in the habit of identifying everyone else by race. This is because, for whites, there is no need to make a white person’s race known. After all, white people are normal.

White is everywhere.

Racial and ethnic minorities are wholly immersed in whiteness. White people write the curriculum in the schools everyone attends. Most of the staff are white. And the white faculty has very little awareness of the cultures of their students who aren’t white.

The media is operated and run by mostly white people. In the last decade, we have seen more diversity than ever before in commercials, movies, and T.V. shows. However, this change was brought on by the insistence and push from POC.

When we see another Black woman on the cover of Vogue and Cosmopolitan, it’s not because white people suddenly realized on their own that they weren’t being inclusive with the other half of the population.

This change is a significant improvement. But for racial minorities who grew up before 2010, things were very different. It was only white people in the magazines. The one token Black or Brown person in the movie, show, or cover was (and is still) considered more than enough diversity.

Even the color Nude was (and still is) the color of white skin. 

The color of bandaids was selected to blend in with one’s skin and go unnoticed. Yet bandaids were always just one color. And when POC go to the doctor, they are surrounded by models and anatomy charts that display only white skin.

Finally, because racial minorities are surrounded by whiteness (the values, beliefs, and behaviors of the white culture), they may, at some point, see themselves as abnormal. It takes mindfulness and active effort to challenge and overcome the inferiority complex one might develop.

White individuals name our differences.

One of the most insidious ways discrimination against POC has manifested is through the constructs surrounding race and stereotypes. These constructs and stereotypes have been largely created and propagated by white individuals.

For example, discourse on Black bodies, such as why African Americans are built the way they are, is based on their physical differences from white people. You might reason that African Americans are particularly muscular in contrast to Latinos and Asians, too. However, other groups, such as Pacific Islanders, share similar physical attributes and larger frames. Yet, white individuals fail to ask why white people tend to be more slender with less muscle tone than African Americans.

A tan or brown skin color is shared amongst many different groups worldwide. Yet all darker-skinned individuals are grouped despite their vastly different backgrounds and racial identities, and this is because they are all simply brown compared to whites. Southeast Asians in the U.S. are also vulnerable to discrimination and violence.

Racial and ethnic minorities are judged as a whole.

Judging people as individuals is a fundamental value of the white culture. This means that white Americans value the belief that every person is evaluated based on their own merits, accomplishments, and character rather than being lumped together based on their race, religion, or culture. This value plays a role in why many whites today do not view themselves as members of a common culture or ethnic group.

However, judging the individual and not the race has yet to manifest outside the dominant group. 

Racial and ethnic minorities are judged not as individuals but by race or ethnicity. And in turn, many view themselves and/or group members in the same negative light.

White is the color of innocence, purity, and virtue. Dark is the opposite.

White people think very highly of white people. This is not a judgment or an opinion- it is a fact. This is not necessarily a negative thing. It is a beautiful thing to think highly of your people and heritage. The problem, in this case, is two-fold. This sense of pride is based solely on race instead of pride in one’s traditions and heritage. Second, long ago, it reached the level of self-imposed supremacy.

Before the colonization of the Americas, people got their sense of identity and peoplehood from their ethnic groups, nationality, or tribe. This way of identifying oneself is still common.

But in the U.S., people eventually become white or POC. Those who are not white must learn to feel pride in their race and culture despite whiteness. Because racial minorities are bombarded with messages of inferiority, they must learn to fight back, personally overcome the narratives and stereotypes, or succumb to them.

We are fully immersed in ideals of white supremacy.

Although today it is rare to catch the average white person proclaiming the supremacy of the white race, it is still commonly expressed in less overt ways. It gets said when a white person says, “Some races have higher I.Q.,” Or when others insist that English is a far more complex language everyone should learn to speak. It’s perpetuated when one blurts out, “That girl is pretty for an Asian girl!” and “He’s cute for a Black guy.”

Sit back and think about the stereotypes for each group. You might argue that Asians are considered intelligent. Although this is a positive stereotype, it is still a stereotype that suggests Asians are all the same. It also takes the spotlight away from the struggles within Asian communities and the racism they experience. 

White people rely on this stereotype as a way to suggest one cannot be racist because one believes there is a race that produces more intelligent people than themselves. It is also used to avoid mentioning the negative messages and beliefs about Asian men and Asian women. The negative stereotypes about each have significantly affected their communities and individuals.

As for other minority groups, the stereotypes and narratives about them are highly damaging. There is hardly anything positive being circulated about African Americans and Latines. And even when there is something positive to say, the negative cancels out the good. This is because the negative stereotypes reinforce ideas of racial inferiority.

This is not an experience that white people can relate to, as narratives about white racial inferiority do not exist.

Although many will see these things and view them as intolerable and needing change, anger itself will not lead to a culture-wide shift in thinking.

Nor will denial. Although not every member of the white culture will display these behaviors, these behaviors are so prominent that virtually all racial and ethnic minorities experience the above. And these experiences shape and define the lived experience of being a racial and/or ethnic minority.

How Did This Happen?

These traits result from A. living in a monoculture and B. whiteness, and these two elements are symbiotic. Colorblindness helped put an end to the overt racism that was prevalent in the U.S. decades ago, but it did not fix the underlying problem, whiteness. As a collective, white Americans did not work to unlearn racist beliefs and ideas.

As long as members of the white culture continue to view themselves as the standard and norm, they will continue to act in self-isolating ways. And as long as they remain isolated, they will never learn to view others as normal, ordinary everyday people- hyphen unnecessary.

It may take a long time for the U.S. to become a multicultural, multiracial society. In the meantime, there are things we can do to improve the situation.

Here’s what you can do if you’re a white ally:

• Learn about the white culture and understand whiteness to become mindful of your whiteness.
• Step outside your comfort zone and get to know people unlike you.
• If you tend to become uncomfortable around people who aren’t white out of fear of saying the wrong things, you can only overcome this by getting out of your comfort zone.
• Challenge your own biases and prejudices by seeking out diverse perspectives and experiences.
• Advocate for diversity and inclusion in your workplace, school, and community.
• Share this post with others to spread awareness about the experiences of minorities.

The fear of being called a racist is not greater than the need for equality. If someone calls you sexist or homophobic, it may be upsetting, but it’s not that big a deal. But if someone says you’re racist, you feel you’re being called evil and attacked at the core of your being. 

But this is different. This fear and mindset are a construct. Maturity and wisdom, on the other hand, are the products of mistakes and life experiences. 

Here’s what you can do if you’re a racial and/or ethnic minority:

• Take care of your mental health. Learn how to cope with the negative messages and behaviors you will likely encounter as a minority. Find a support group or therapist to help you process your feelings and experiences.
• Spend time with members of your community. This can provide a sense of belonging and support. Share your experiences and educate those around you about the issues faced by racial and ethnic minorities.
• Advocate for diversity and inclusion in your workplace, school, and community. 
• Support minority-owned businesses and organizations. 
• Learn about your history and the traditions of your culture that have been neglected or forgotten.
• Participate in activism and advocacy efforts that promote equality and challenge systemic racism.
• Educate yourself and others about the history and experiences of different minority groups.
• Challenge your own biases and prejudices by seeking out diverse perspectives and experiences.
• Speak up for others and stand up for yourself when you witness racism and other forms of bigotry.
• Share your experiences and educate those around you about the issues faced by racial and ethnic minorities. Remember that your experiences and perspectives are valuable and deserve to be heard.
• Self-care is essential for maintaining physical, mental, and emotional health. 

With how much you’ve had to endure, overcome, and continue to experience, it is vital to surround yourself with positive and supportive people and engage in activities that bring joy and fulfillment.

With knowledge and willpower, we can shape a better tomorrow for racial and ethnic minorities in the U.S. and worldwide!

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